My client had a tough decision—go on one last business trip with a very special colleague who was retiring or stay put and keep an eye on a very high profile project. “Choose one of the options,” I coached him. “Now imagine it is 10 minutes from now. How do you feel? Now move forward 10 months. How do you feel? How about 10 years from now?”
He got his answer. “Great tool,” he said.
“It’s not mine. I stole it from Suzy Welch.”
He smiled, “Good for you. I’ve probably never had an original thought in my life, but I’m great at recognizing them.”
That got me thinking. I’ve always been in awe of people who create something unique—those with a new message, philosophy, or tool. I’m sheepish that everything I have to offer has been learned from someone else. My client’s words stopped me short. What if the eye for something good and useful is a talent? Indeed one of my gifts is the ability to find, absorb, and share things that are genuinely helpful to my clients. I hereby claim my gift. I am a collector of helpful perspectives, practices, and tools.
In honor of that celebration here is a small sample of my good and useful collection: one perspective, one practice, and one tool.
One Perspective
There is an opportunity in every situation
Before I became a coach I held a pretty powerful and positive perspective—there is a solution for every problem. I was the master of seeing things gone wrong and finding ways to fix. This made me very good at my high tech job. However in coaching we aren’t fixing people! Instead we are stewards for transformation. Enter a new perspective—there is an opportunity in every situation. Rather than ask what needs to be fixed, ask “What is the opportunity here? What greater good can happen? What needs to or wants to shift?” then partner with the potential and let the opportunity be the source for action. Alan Seale, founder of the Center for Transformational Presence, calls this leading from potential; it is at the heart of his teaching and now at the heart of how I coach and live. Read more about Alan’s potential-based approach at Alan’s blog.
One Practice
Start meditating using guided meditations
My life changed when I started meditating. I became aware of and less entangled in my thoughts, grew more compassionate to myself and others, and rewired my brain for happiness. Getting started was not easy. Using a guided meditation made it easier. Back then I bought tapes (yes cassette tapes!) by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Today there is the free insight mediation timer app. Search for insight timer in the app store or go to https://insighttimer.com/. It comes with many guided meditations varying in length from one minute to one hour. Tara Brach is one of my favorite teachers. Try her A Pause for Presence meditation.
One Tool
The rule of 10-10-10
Suzy Welch calls the rule of 10-10-10 a little life transformation tool. For any decision—small, large, personal, or business, ask yourself three questions: “What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes? In 10 months? And in 10 years?” I’ve added my own twist to her tool. In addition to thinking about the consequences, bring in the wisdom of your gut. Imagine yourself 10 minutes from now. How do you feel about the decision? Now move forward 10 months. How do you feel? Now 10 years. What have you discovered? Try it on your next decision. Click here to read the original article where I first spotted the rule of 10-10-10.
There you have it—one perspective, one practice, and one tool. Have your own favorite tool? Let me know!
